Category: Blog

Not So Bold


Forty years ago, Paramount Television attempted to set itself up as a fourth US network, with Star Trek as its ace card. William Shatner would return as James Kirk, although Leonard Nimoy had declined the studio’s entreaties to bring Spock back aboard the USS Enterprise bridge (and was, in any case, locked in a legal row over unauthorised exploitation of his image). Star Trek: Phase II began as a tv movie, stretched into a full series and eventually shifted onto the big screen as Star Trek: The Motion Picture, whilst plans for the putative fourth network were quietly shelved.

Well, here we go again: CBS (successor to Paramount’s tv assets) wants to slice itself a piece of the pay-per-view pie which has proven so profitable for HBO and Netflix, beginning with its own Star Trek spin-off, Discovery. Set a full decade before the Enterprise embarked upon its five-year mission and allegedly firmly locked into that original timeline (as opposed to the ‘Kelvin’ timeline created for the three recent movies featuring Christoper Pine and Zachary Quinto as Kirk and Spock), Discovery was initially announced for January, rescheduled for May and finally made its debut last month; worrying warning signs, you might think, but CBS clearly have their minds focused on higher things, such as profit forecasts.

Much has been made of the fact that the new lead is a “woman of colour”, but Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1993-99) already featured an African-American actor in the commander’s chair and Star Trek: Voyager (1995-2001) a female captain, so that’s hardly noteworthy. In fact, one early rumour I heard was that Discovery would continue the adventures of the female first officer played by Majel Barrett fifty-two years ago in the unaired Star Trek pilot “The Cage”. Instead, Sonequa Martin-Green stars as Lt. Cmdr. Michael Burnham, a human raised on Vulcan following her parents’ deaths during a Klingon raid. Of course, the makers can’t resist some half-arsed fanwankery, so her adoptive father is none other than Sarek, although there’s curiously no sign of his current wife Amanda Grayson (better known as Spock’s equally human mother).

So far, so so-so, but it gets worse. The opening two episodes are located aboard the USS Shenzou, described by its captain as a veteran of the fleet yet just as absurdly huge and tech-encrusted as any of the shiny starships seen in JJ Abrams’ ‘Kelvin’ reboot. Its sister vessels have been similarly upgraded, zipping out of warp drive like the dark wizards in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Pixels. In contrast, the Federation’s Klingon adversaries have shaved off the beards, reupholstered their foreheads and now resemble a gang of Orcs with the social skills of Big Brother contestants.

Much of this could be overlooked, were the entire enterprise (ahem) not so dreadfully dull. With the possible exception of Saru, an alien science officer with an amusing bias towards self-preservation (Doug Jones), none of the characters engaged me in the least, leaving their dramatic tribulations of negligible interest. Phaser beams fly, starships fry, crewmen die, uncaring I.

Matters reportedly improve with the third episode (the reverse is difficult to conceive), but by then CBS will be expecting US fans to subscribe to Discovery via its “All Access” platform, and I strongly suspect many will already have walked. In this latest quest to monetise Gene Roddenberry’s creation, CBS may well have guaranteed this wobbly spin-off neither prospers, nor lives long.


Another Nice Mess [2]

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There’s a nice article in the autumn edition of Wetherspoon News, in-house magazine of the JD Wetherspoon pub chain, covering my chat with Laurel & Hardy historian John Ullah about local comic Charlie Hall. It was a follow-up to an earlier interview which aired on Made in Birmingham TV and was originally intended to go out on the same show, but our slot was unexpectedly cancelled as part of a programme shake-up at the channel, which has apparently sub-let eight hours of its daily schedule to the Sony-owned TruTV and has consigned much of its locally-produced content to the early hours to stream its new tenant’s American programming. Quite how all this conforms with Made in Birmingham TV’s franchise commitments is up to Ofcom to decide.

[Scan by John Ullah]

The Lure of the Silver Scream [7]

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The cast and crew of All Bad Things…, photographed yesterday outside the Rajnagar International Restaurant in Solihull.

Left to right: Joe Dempster, Sham Zaman, Gabriela Zogall, Anthony Atkins, Sophie Sharp, Olivia Comer, John Messer, Kevin Clarke, Steve Green, Rob Eadon, Demelza O’Sullivan, Abul Kalam, Liam Woon, Aliy Haycox, Jamie Lambe. Not shown: Chrissie Harper (back behind the camera), David Shakes, Omar Kasis.

The Lure of the Silver Scream [6]

Set photo 1.JPG

Principal photography commenced yesterday morning on All Bad Things…, a short film directed by Chrissie Harper from her own screenplay (developed from an idea of mine). The two leads are played by Liam Woon and Demelza O’Sullivan, with Sham Ali as the waiter. We were generously offered a chance to film at the award-winning Rajnagar International Restaurant in Solihull, which really added to the authenticity of the storyline. There are two short scenes left to shoot, but we hope to have the final edit completed by early October.

The Lure of the Silver Scream [4]

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With our Club Vamporama teaser “Who is Bette Noir?” filmed and edited, Chrissie Harper and I headed over to a quiet Solihull cul-de-sac on Tuesday morning to shoot “Hail Cthulhu!”, a minisode set in that same universe featuring Dru Stephenson as Jenni and Elizabeth Hastings as Marie. In case you’re wondering, they switched position from Chrissie’s storyboard because Dru pointed out the uneven ground would elevate her to the same apparent height as Lizzie. This was typical of the professionalism, attention to detail and enthusiasm both actors brought to their performances, and we can’t wait to get the finished short film ready for a public screening.

Good News for Bad Things

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Had some fantastic news yesterday about our short film All Bad Things…, which centres upon a bizarre meeting in a restaurant. Obviously, it’s crucial we get an authentic location for the shoot; no one’s going to be convinced by a couple of trestle tables under a bed sheet.

Well, last night I took a ‘phone call from the owner of an award-winning Bangladeshi restaurant which my late wife and I first visited shortly after its launch in 1987, remaining regulars for the next twenty years. He’d read our proposal and wanted to support the project, offering access to either (or both) of his two premises. It’s a massive thumbs-up for the project, and for everyone working on it.

We’re hoping to schedule the shoot for the last Sunday in July. Now the lead actors and location are in place, we’re looking for volunteers to help out on the day, either behind or in front of the camera. If you’re interested, drop me a line via

Update 30/7/17: Unfortunately, we had to postpone the shoot, but only by a few weeks. As the Romans used to say, festina lente.

Update 10/8/17: The shoot is now scheduled for 20 August.